At Tomorrow Funerals, our simple cremation & memorial package works well for folks looking to plan a living wake.
Recently Nine Honey told the story of James and Di who, together with Tomorrow, planned an incredible ‘party of a lifetime’ following James terminal cancer diagnosis. The event (sometimes referred to as a living funeral) was held at Melbourne’s Bleakhouse in Albert Park. Friends and family flew in to celebrate James’ life with a ‘day at the races’ themed event that included live music written especially for James from by his son, Simon Reade.
Di Vernon-Reade describes her husband James as “the most extraordinary person” she has ever known, a sentiment that resonates deeply with their story of finding love later in life.
James and Di’s Love Story
When Di and James crossed paths, he was a 38-year-old divorced father sharing custody of two children. Di, at 44 and having been married twice before, was at a pivotal moment in her life. She reflects on this period, saying, “I was at a crossroads and not sure what the future held.”
Their meeting came about unexpectedly. Di had no plans to attend a Sunday afternoon barbecue, but something compelled her to go. It was there that she was introduced to James, a chance encounter that would change both of their lives.
The connection was instant for Di. “There was an immediate attraction,” she recalls. Despite her reservations and lingering doubts, their relationship blossomed quickly, leading to marriage not long after they met.
Their shared positivity and resilience bonded them. Di describes how they were alike in many ways—both optimistic and eager to tackle life’s challenges together. However, their interests diverged significantly; while James was passionate about cars, Di was more concerned with practicality.
In 2019, James began experiencing troubling symptoms. Initially, he was diagnosed with leg cramps, but the situation worsened with fatigue and chest pain. Despite antibiotics for a chest infection, a scan revealed a blood clot in his lung and a concerning shadow in his chest. The diagnosis was Cholangiocarcinoma, a rare and aggressive form of bile duct cancer, and James was given a limited time to live.
“We were in shock, holding each other through the uncertainty,” Di recalls. Initially, they kept the diagnosis private, hoping to face the challenges together with hope and courage. They moved from Tasmania to Melbourne for treatment, but the cancer proved relentless.
Accepting the inevitable, the couple chose to make the most of their remaining time together. Di remembers James’s comforting words and their deepening bond during this period. They found solace in long ocean walks and cherished every day together.
It was during this time that they discovered Tomorrow Funerals, a service offering living wakes. James was enthusiastic about the idea of celebrating his life rather than focusing on the sadness of his condition. He planned a grand celebration for his 72nd birthday, themed ‘A Day at the Races,’ held at the Caulfield Cup in Melbourne. The event was a joyful occasion with everyone dressed up, culminating in a ‘Breakfast of Champions’ by the Yarra River.
James’s final wish was to visit France, a dream he fulfilled before he passed. He chose to spend his final moments at home, surrounded by Di and the comfort of familiar surroundings. Di stayed by his side, offering love and reassurance until his last breath.
After James’s passing, Di experienced a profound sense of calm and peace, despite the waves of grief that occasionally overwhelm her. “Grief is unpredictable,” she says. “It can come crashing in or gently remind you of the past.” She finds solace in their shared memories and the joy captured in photos, holding on to the love they shared.
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James passed away on 29 August 2023 in France. James went peacefully after a short last battle, with Di by his side.
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