Here at Tomorrow Funerals our focus is on ‘celebrations of life.’ That’s why our celebrant partners are so important to us. Jill Hosken brings with her almost 20 years of assisting families to create a farewell to celebrate their loved one. We are excited to have Jill onboard and loved hearing about her journey into the industry and her advice for families.
Funeral Celebrancy & Me
The two most common questions people ask me are: ‘What made you choose to become a funeral celebrant?’ and ‘How do you manage to do what you do?’
The first one is tricky to answer as I didn’t actually ‘choose’ celebrancy – it’s a vocation which seemingly chose me!! Standing up before an audience, especially full of people I didn’t know was one of my greatest fears and when it came to matters of the heart – even seeing people farewelling or greeting each other at the international terminal, with minimal warning I would find tears building – not the ideal attributes for this role you’d agree.
However, after a variety of career pathways, most of which had lasted a maximum of 4 years, I was at a crossroads and a suggestion by my Mum, a random advertisement for celebrant training which caught my eye with the topics covered piquing my interest along with encouragement from a friend who’d been a celebrant for a few years all occurred within one week!
Divine guidance? Maybe – but I took the step – and it’s hard to believe that was almost 20 years ago. Over that time, I have been so privileged to earn the trust not only of many funeral arrangers but also to sit with and assist many, many families at a time when they are most vulnerable, often exhausted, many dealing with mixed emotions or complex family dynamics.
So to answer the second question, ‘How?’ I guess over time I’ve learned to just simply be there with an open mind – to meet people where they’re at, to listen with empathy, to support, guide and assist those grieving to create a farewell that is respectful and authentic.
These days, I find most people want a farewell – be it a traditional funeral, a burial, a committal, a memorial or a true life celebration – to be uplifting so even though the circumstances can be sad – sometimes tragic, it is a very significant occasion which can be quite healing and it is a real joy for me to be able to help them create this in an appropriate setting, by sharing the stories, the joys and sorrows experienced and enable them to begin to move forward in life feeling even a wee bit lighter.
And yes, even now, on occasion, I can be moved to tears!
Advice for Families
Often people contact me not knowing where to start and many have a very negative view of the funeral industry in general. After chatting through a number of options (which are almost limitless) it often helps them to get clear on what is right for them and also the deceased.
My first bit of advice though is – there is no rush. Nevertheless, there is a balance between taking too long as well – a time frame is important and will help with the decision making – of which there can be many.
The second is to let them know that while often hospitals, nursing homes etc want to know quickly who will be caring for the deceased and make recommendations, or the loved one is moved fairly quickly, there is no obligation to stay with that funeral company if for any reason, you wish to use the services of another.
The third is, even though it can be an uncomfortable conversation for many, talk to family and or friends long before your time comes – to let people know your personal wishes which will make it much easier for those you leave behind.
Funerals & the Funeral Industry
In response to the changes in societal needs and perspectives on life and death, the funeral industry is slowly evolving but, on the whole, most funeral companies, although modified, are still modelled on their centuries old, traditional roots along with formalities aligned with religious ceremonies which are no longer relevant to many today.
And so, I was delighted to come across Tomorrow Funerals who have created a fresh and very appealing concept to simplify the process of caring for and farewelling a loved one in a way that is transparent, respectful and removes a lot of stress for those when they are most vulnerable.
Having met with Kate I can sense her genuine desire and passion to offer a real alternative to benefit all – to make a difference and bring positive change to and perception of the broader funeral industry and I am delighted to have the opportunity to be aligned with Tomorrow Funerals.
I often hear from families that their Dad or Mum who grew up through the depression years have said to the family – just send me off in a cardboard box!! In the past, and even now, families have been reticent to do this because the grandness of the coffin or casket was an indication of the financial status of the family or the esteem in which the person was held – in the past often encouraged by the funeral arranger – but not so much now (I hope!)
And yet, here we are today with a wonderful range of environmental options – and yes cardboard coffins which can bring an uplifting energy to the occasion and family, children & friends can decorate.
Have you Planned Your Own Funeral?
Ummm – not as yet – on my To Do list!!!
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