Certain festive dates, like Christmas, other cultural holidays and birthdays may bring back feelings of grief.
Years after the death of someone close you may still feel a deep sadness or grief at Christmas or another significant date. Grief is not a linear process and can catch you off guard. These emotional waves might bring feelings such as:
- Irritability or anger
- Restlessness or anxiety
- Tearfulness & deep sadness
- Fatigue or physical exhaustion
- Guilt or regret
- Loneliness
- Disrupted sleep patterns
Making plans for special dates may be helpful. Think about what activities feel comforting, and what might you want to avoid?
Try to remain flexible, allowing yourself to adjust your plans based on how you feel that day. You might find comfort in sharing memories of your loved one, honouring their birthday, or participating in a symbolic activity. Alternatively, quiet time on your own might feel equally meaningful.
Festive times of year often come with long-standing traditions. You might choose to maintain these practices or adapt them to reflect your new reality. If avoiding traditions feels more manageable this year, consider scheduling something else to help prevent feelings of isolation.
Sharing Your Needs with Others
Learning to ask for support and saying yes to new invitations is a skill that needs practice. If you’re not used to showing your vulnerability and accepting help it can be scary. But, adapting to new people and social situations might be an important step in building deeper connections.
It’s a good idea to let close friends or family know where you are at. Tell them what you need. It could be that they want to help but don’t know the best way to do so.
If attending an event feels overwhelming, have a contingency plan. For instance, let your friends know you might leave early if needed.
Prioritising Self-Care
Looking after yourself—both physically and emotionally—is essential, particularly during emotionally charged times. Eat well, rest when you can, and acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Grief is complex, and it’s okay to experience joy and sorrow simultaneously. Allow yourself to cry if needed or to smile when it feels right.
To support your own well-being, consider the following:
- Take breaks when you feel overwhelmed and avoid taking on too much. Remember grief can be exhausting.
- Surround yourself with people who make you feel good.
- Reflect on what feels meaningful to you, whether it’s sharing memories or spending time alone.
- Explore creative outlets like reading books about grief, drawing, or playing music to express your emotions.
- Create new traditions or rituals to honour your loved one’s memory.
- Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as walking in nature, reading, or enjoying a favorite hobby.
Seeking Additional Support
While grief is a natural process, some circumstances—like a sudden or traumatic loss—may make it harder to adjust. If you’re finding it challenging to manage daily life, seeking professional support can be beneficial. Bereavement counselors, support groups, or mental health professionals can provide guidance during these times. Read our guide on 8 ways to access support for grief.
Most importantly, if you are in urgent need of crisis or grief support, please contact:
- Suicide Line: 1300 651 251
- Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
- Lifeline: 13 11 14
- Griefline: 1300 845 745
- Beyondblue: 1300 22 4636