‘Life & Death, Today & Tomorrow’ by Kate Morgan. It’s a space where we tell the stories of our beloved clients and co-workers in the death space. We’re working on a volume of interviews that aim to inspire, advocate and support. (Watch Chapter Two HERE.)
– CHAPTER FOUR –
Sue’s Story
Ray’s Choice: A Story of Love, Motor Neurone Disease & Voluntary Assisted Dying in Victoria
This is why Tomorrow exists. Sharing stories is at the heart of our Tomorrow Memorials.
Emeritus Professor Raymond Stebbins had always lived life on his terms—curious, thoughtful, and deeply pragmatic. So when he was diagnosed with motor neurone disease, his mind turned quickly to what was ahead. It wasn’t just the loss of speech or mobility that concerned him; it was the slow erosion of choice. This is when Ray began researching voluntary assisted dying in Victoria.


Whether you’re facing the decision to utilise VAD, supporting someone who is, or simply looking to understand the human experience better, this conversation will touch your heart.
How Do You Choose VAD?
After the passing of the Victorian Voluntary Assisted Dying Act 2017, in 2019 the Victorian Government legalised Voluntary Assisted Dying (VAD.) After diagnosis, Ray knew he wanted to understand and explore that pathway. Not because he was giving up, but because he needed to know that when the suffering became too much, he had a say. The option itself brought him a quiet kind of peace. “Even if I don’t use it,” he told his wife Susan, “just knowing it’s there helps me breathe.”

VAD – A Choice To Die With Dignity
As Victoria considers reforms to improve access and equity in VAD, Ray and Susan’s story is a timely reminder of why these choices matter, but even more, it is a tribute to dignity, partnership, and the sacredness of a well-prepared goodbye. Their story is a masterclass in love, autonomy and the right to choose a compassionate end.
This episode is not just about the law and VAD. It’s about the people who live, and die, within its framework. It’s about a man who faced the end of his life with the same quiet integrity he had lived it, and a woman who loved him enough to let him go on his own terms.

Ray and Sue’s personal story
In this deeply profound chapter of our podcast, Sue shares the experience of walking beside Ray through the final chapter of his life. From navigating the complex medical and legal requirements, to preparing their home for a peaceful and dignified farewell, which they faced with grace, resolve, and love.
Ray died at home, just as he wanted, with Susan beside him. The logistics were meticulous – he wanted everything to go smoothly, for Susan’s sake as his priority.
Ray even chose Tomorrow Funerals ahead of time, ensuring that no detail would fall on others once he was gone.
But amid all the planning and protocol were deeply human moments. As difficult as it was, Sue remained by her husband’s side as he took the medication. Ray had reached the moment he had long prepared for. He was calm. Certain. At peace.
A Special Thanks
Susan provides first hand insights about Voluntary Assisted Dying, sharing the extraordinary experience of being the remaining partner of someone who’s chosen to utilise VAD. And we are incredibly grateful for her bravery in sharing this story.


Life & Death, Today & Tomorrow’ presented & created by Kate Morgan. Produced by Session In Progress. Music by Gabriel Coleman
Content Note: Includes discussion of terminal illness, death at home, and Voluntary Assisted Dying. If this raises distress, please contact Lifeline (13 11 14) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636).
Helpful links:
- MND Victoria support services
- Voluntary Assisted Dying Review Board (forms & FAQs)
- Victorian Government VAD portal
- Palliative Care Victoria